[劇研] 114-part 03
Part-03
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened?
Chandler: No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice.
Janice: Kiss me!
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
Monica: Oh, Chandler, sorry.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Janice: Hi, Monica.
Chandler: Ok, well, this was very special.
Monica: Rach, come see who's out here!
(Rachel comes out.)
Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Monica: I'll be right back.
(Joey enters from the stairs.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
Chandler: Oh, good, Joey's home now.
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
(Monica comes out with her cordless phone.)
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to.
(to Chandler) He just happened to call.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then,
because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing,
then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles,
he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
(Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?'
Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant.
Ross stares at them.)
Kristin: That's funny. Who are they?
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her...
close, personal friend.
Kristin: You mean they're lovers.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Kristin: Wow, uh, anything else I should know?
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part.
(to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]
Phoebe: Ok, so now we need, um sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
Phoebe: Um, that's ok! (throws it in fire) Ok. All right.
Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that,
we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
Monica: Can we just start throwing things in?
Phoebe: Ok, yeah, ok. (she throws the directions in) Oh, OK.
Rachel: (tossing things in the fire) Ok, Barry's letters.
Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.
Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.
Monica: Look, here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked.
Rachel: (looking at picture) Hey he's wearing a sweater.
Monica: No.
Rachel and Phoebe: Eww!
Rachel: And here we have the last of Paulo's grappa.
Monica: Hey, Rachel, isn't that stuff almost pure...
(Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire. A burst of flames shoots up from it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there.
Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day?
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Chandler: Oh, man. In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
(Janice enters.)
Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.
Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker.
I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
--
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