Re: [問題] 使用古老連續劇台詞惡搞的有哪些?

看板wearefriends (Friends 六人行)作者neverli (想睡)時間18年前 (2007/12/09 17:45)推噓14(14推 0噓 4→)

留言18則, 14人參與討論串3/3 (看更多)

103 和alan分手 Monica像個堅強的男人，其他五個則是心思敏感的弱女子經典: Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better! (娘娘腔) 喔,她感到抱歉,我感覺好多了! Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan. (They all gasp and clutch each other.) Ross: Is there somebody else? Monica: No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change. Rachel: We didn't change.. Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that? Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair) Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending- Joey: Okay! Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you! Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were. Monica: I'm sorry.. Chandler: (sarcastic(挖苦的)) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better! Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family- Monica: I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Alans. All: Oh, yeah! Right! Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay? Ross: Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time. Monica: (dubious) I understand. 112 買新桌子 Joey&Chandler像一對男女朋友 (其實我覺得這段還好....) Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it? Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together? Joey: Yeah Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that? Joey: Why not? Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out? Joey: Why, are you moving out? Chandler: I'm not moving out. Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip... Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip! Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly. Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me? Chandler: Aw, don't do that 201 剪壞頭髮 PHOEBE是醫生其他則是病人家屬 Monica是剛動完手術的病人經典: PHOEBE: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. 你的髮型太好了，那會讓她更難過 RACHEL: How is she? PHOEBE: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign. ROSS: How's the hair? PHOEBE: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. JOEY: Can we see her? PHOEBE: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, you come on in. 202 和Julie去購物被抓包 MONICA是偷情被抓包的老公 RACHEL則是可憐的妻子經典: RACHEL: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. 喔拜託~~~ 妳故意想要讓我逮到妳的!! MONICA: Hey, where is everybody? RACHEL: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been? MONICA: Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket. RACHEL: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. Here are your keys, hon. Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars? MONICA: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card. RACHEL: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket MONICA: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent. RACHEL: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with? MONICA: Judy. RACHEL: Who? MONICA: Julie. RACHEL: What? MONICA: Jody. RACHEL: You were with Julie? MONICA: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping. RACHEL: Oh. Oh my god. MONICA: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me. RACHEL: Yeah, right. MONICA: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out. RACHEL: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. MONICA: That is not true! RACHEL: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here? MONICA: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid? RACHEL: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdales? Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. 204 和gay老公分手 DUNCAN好像是剛出櫃的老公(實際上相反) PHOEBE是難以相信的妻子經典:PHOEBE: I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.' 我是說，當妳已經嫁給妳老公六年了，妳自以為妳很瞭解他他卻突然有一天妳說"我不是同性戀." DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight. PHOEBE: Huuh. DUNCAN: Yeah, I know, I. PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties. DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore. PHOEBE: So how long have you known? DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in. PHOEBE: And um, and there's actually a, a woman? DUNCAN: Her name's Debra. PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with? DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college. PHOEBE: Sure. DUNCAN: But now I know I don't have a choice about this, I was born this way. PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.' DUNCAN: I'm, I'm still me. PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago? 217 Chandler想要Joey搬回來 Chandler像剛分手的小女生,其他人在安慰他經典:ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not...rommmates anymore. 你必須接受你們現在只能是朋友，好嗎？你們再也不是一對....一對室友了。 ROSS: I'm telling you, there's no way he's moving back. CHANDLER: But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together. ROSS: Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated. RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too. CHANDLER: But... ROSS: No. You're just gonna have to accept the fact that you're just friends now, OK, you're not...rommmates anymore. 321 為了照顧雞鴨吵架 Joey像是在外打拼的先生 Chandler像是在家照顧小孩的妻子經典: Chandler: You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too? 你有沒有發現，自從我們有了小雞之後，吵架的次數比以前多太多太多了 Joey: Hey. Chandler: Hey. Joey: How's she doing? Chandler: She? Joey: Well yeah, don't-don't you think it's a she? Chandler: I don't know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I can't tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly. Joey: Well, anyway, I got to go change, I'm ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks. Chandler: Excuse me? Joey: What? Chandler: I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal(排練,試演) so somebody could be here with our chick! Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 o'clock this morning until 5 o'clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep? Chandler: You don't think I get up when you get up? Joey: Ohhh, here it comes. Chandler: Yes, here it comes! I'm stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting(閒逛) with your friends? Well I don't think so mister! Joey: Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day! Chandler: And you don't think taking care of our chick is work? Joey: That's not what I said. Okay, I just meant... Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too? Joey: I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick. Chandler: I'll take her back tomorrow. Joey: Do you think we'll get our three bucks back? 401 被水母螫到 Monica,Chandler,Joey感覺像是被外星人綁架or遇到山難一樣經典: Chandler: We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didn’t think we could make it. 我們距離房子有兩哩遠。害怕... 孤單... 我們甚至不認為我們有可能辦到........ Rachel: All right, that’s it, you guys! What happened out there? Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me. Ross: Come on! Rachel: Come on! Ross: What happened? Joey? Joey: All right. (gets up) Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore we’d never tell! Chandler: (running over and joining Monica) They’ll never understand! Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! It’s eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish. Monica: (interrupting) All right!! All right. (walks slowly into the living room) I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn’t stand. I-I couldn’t walk. Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didn’t think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monica’s shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.) Monica: I was in too much pain. Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole! Chandler: And then Joey remembered something. Joey: I’d seen this thing on The Discovery Channel... Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?! Phoebe: Ewwww!! Rachel: Ewwww!! Monica: You can’t say that!! You-you don’t know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldn’t...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.) Phoebe Ross : (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!! Rachel Joey: That’s right I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I’d pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldn’t. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler. Chandler: (wails loudly into his hands) Joey kept screaming at me, “Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!!” Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming. Joey: (laughs) That’s ‘cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out. 705Ross和Phoebe同時和一對分手中的夫妻交往 Ross&Phoebe變得好像就是一對夫妻一樣經典:Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!! Ross: So do we!! So do we!! 我們想要那六年的時光倒轉回來!! 我們也是!!我們也想!! Phoebe: Hi. Ross: Hi. Phoebe: So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet? Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story,okay— and F.Y.I she must’ve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass." Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she should’ve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom. Ross: Well, I don’t think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe that’s just because I am not emotionally unavailable! Phoebe: You think he’s emotionally unavailable? Ross: I think he can be. Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldn't be she didn't bring the office home every night! Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life! Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Year’s Eve 1997. Ross: (angrily) I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!! That was three years ago! She apologized and she apologized! What more do you want?!! Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!! Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) I’m sorry you had to see that. hmmmmmmmmmmmm......累了...... 下面這些一時之間找不到在哪幾集，請大家幫忙告訴我正確集數囉 : 推 ppopp:Phoebe的玩具屋火災後～Ross的研判起火點！ 12/02 13:40 : 推 bond1419:joy生出來他的結石那段..... 12/02 21:55 : → bond1419:joey 12/02 21:57 : 推 lovingwu:我想到的是chandler cross the line那集 12/02 23:30 : → lovingwu:phoebe很認真的告訴ross她無法接在他之後表演 12/02 23:31 : → lovingwu:他們兩個人都很嚴肅可是我看了都會狂笑 XDD 12/02 23:32 : 推 maggie777:Joey變成Joseph人格時也是 12/03 05:07 : → maggie777:還有Ross講到他和50yr-old libarian的making-out 12/03 05:08 : → maggie777:"May she rest in peace?(低下頭默哀...) 12/03 05:09 : 推 maggie777:joey的女影迷那一集，大家一起配合演，Drake's evil twi 12/03 05:12 : → maggie777:-n,一直往Joey臉上潑水 12/03 05:13 : → maggie777:還有Joey在舞台劇台上和台下要分離的女主角說出道別的話 12/03 05:15 : 推 eggies:Joey和Chandler分居那時候 Eddie's egg 12/03 18:38 -- -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.228.209.127

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